Morning Sickness
by Of Jumbled Thoughts
Summary: Rollaro baby story. Amanda's pregnant, Nick's whatever she needs. May continue.
1. Chapter 1

"It's just so stupid!" Amanda said. "Every time a woman gets sick on TV, she's pregnant!" She was lying down, her head in her boyfriend's lap. He stroked her blond hair, laughing at her rant brought on by the movie they were watching. The sister of the protagonist, who had vomited on the love interest's shoes just a scene before, was announcing her pregnancy.

"Babe, if I remember correctly, you had morning sickness all the time in your first trimester," Nick said, moving his hand to her swollen belly.

 _March had just died, and April was filling its place. Easter had been two days ago. Zara was visiting from California, and candy wrappers littered the house. Amanda and Nick were at work collecting the remnants of the chocolate paraphernalia. Although claiming no guilt, Amanda gave a sly grin when Nick accused her of having eaten a good portion of the chocolate._

 _Nick's mother was with them. She got along with Amanda excellently, much to Nick's relief. Together, they had made yet another chocolate concoction: a soft, fluffy devil's food cake. The elder of the women doled out the cake to all the guests. Amanda ate only two bites before putting down her fork and pushing it away. Nick's mother eyed her, looking, much to Amanda's surprise, not at all offended, but said nothing._

 _When everyone had finished inhaling the dessert, Amanda helped Cesaria clean the plates. She gagged as she scraped the mushy chocolate that had been diluted with orange soap and water, and then rushed out of the kitchen into the bathroom. When she emerged, Nick was waiting for her with a wet paper towel. She took it and wiped her face as he led her to the bedroom to lie down._

 _She insisted he rejoin the party, that she would be fine. Cesaria, moments later, entered and sat down on the bed next to Amanda._

" _You know," she began, "Your hair is very shiny." Surprised at the random compliment, Amanda thanked her, wondering if she was just saying it to make her feel better._

" _How far along are you?" She asked._

" _What?" Amanda said, jolting upright._

" _Come on, you're glowing. Your hair, your skin. And the cravings? The morning sickness?"_

" _But that doesn't mean . . . but that can't mean . . ." Amanda stuttered._

 _The next morning, three small white and blue boxes from the local pharmacy shoved haphazardly in her purse felt like they weighed fifty pounds apiece. Shoving her purse into her desk drawer, Amanda struggled to avoid eye contact with any of her co-workers. The tests would have to wait until the day drew to a close._

 _She threw up twice that day, once in the bathroom, which no one noticed, and once in the trashcan under her desk while getting a victim's statement. Feeling the details she had shared with the detective had disgusted her to the point of vomiting, the victim was hurt and offended, and wanted to leave. This was not the case, but Amanda found herself wishing that it had been. There remained two possibilities: Nick's mom was right, or anxiety about the three cardboard box-clad plastic sticks in her bag was causing her ailment._

 _After the incident at her desk, Liv sent Amanda home. Nick demanded he drive her to ensure she got home safe, but she, wanting to get the results of the test and be done with it, wanted him to be far away. She took the subway._

 _Six pink lines on three plastic sticks confirmed what Cesaria had already told her._

"Whatever," Amanda responded. "I was not sick _all the time_. Help me up," she ordered. He shifted his weight and slipped his left hand behind her back to support her.

"Two more weeks," he said, leaning down to kiss her baby bump.

"Unless . . ." Amanda said before allowing a gasp of pain to leave her lips.

"Oh my god, was that a contraction? Do we need to go to the hospital?" Nick said worriedly.

She grinned maliciously. "Gottcha," she teased.

"That was mean," he said.

"I'm sorry, babe. I'll make it up to you," she said, leaning in to kiss him.


	2. Chapter 2

September was drawing to a close, and Detective Amanda Rollins had never been more uncomfortable in her life. Although the leaves were falling off the trees in bunches, the weather outside was temperamental at best, sometimes acting like summer but occasionally expressing the cool fall chill. Nevertheless, inside the courthouse, the heaters were at full blast.

Usually when she found herself sweating in a courtroom, it was because of a particularly fierce cross-examination. Today; however, the artificial heat coming in from various entry points swelled around her like the Georgia sun and caused her to stick to her seat. Her Braxton Hicks contractions were not helping. Her lower abdomen hurt and her patience was growing thin.

At the front of the courtroom was Amanda's sister, Kim, and her lover—er, lawyer, Lorenzo. The ADA had agreed to drop the charge of manslaughter in the second degree in exchange for a guilty plea on assault in the first degree and grand larceny. She was also adding the charge of resisting arrest, to which Kim would plead guilty.

Amanda struggled to hear from the back of the courtroom. Nick had his arm around her, his fingertips resting against her belly. Usually, she appreciated his gentle touch, but today she was hot and sweaty and in pain.

"Miss Rollins, you have pled guilty to assault in the first degree, grand larceny, and resisting arrest. Do you agree?"

Amanda couldn't hear Kim's response, but the judge proceeded, so it must have been 'yes.' Amanda shifted her weight in an attempt to alleviate the pain she was feeling and pushed Nick off of her.

"Miss Rollins, you are hereby sentenced to four years at Riker's Island Correctional Facility."

Kim did not react or fight, she simply held out her arms for the court officers before turning and winking at Lorenzo. Amanda groaned, but she was not sure if it was from pain or disgust.

"Hey, honey, you okay?" Nick asked, running his fingers through her hair. She wished he wouldn't touch her right now.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, running her hands over her baby bump. "I'm good. Help me get up," she said. Nick stood up first and then guided her, one hand around her back and the other on her arm.

Another goddamn false contraction. Amanda doubled over in pain. They had never been this bad before.

"You sure?" Nick said. "Maybe we should head to the hospital."

"No, no, I'm fine. It's just Braxton Hicks," she said.

"You sure, Amanda?" His brow was furrowed with concern. She took his hand and guided it to her belly. He smiled.

"I'll be fine, Nick," she said, before bending over in pain again.

"Okay, we're going right now," he said, moving his hand from her belly to her back.

At the hospital, Amanda's doctor confirmed that she was indeed in labor. Word travelled fast. Within an hour, Liv, Carisi, and Fin were standing in a crowded waiting room in the company of grandmas and grandpas and small children. Olivia leaned against the wall while Fin and Carisi argued over the sex of the baby.

"I'm telling you man, it's gonna be a boy," Carisi swore.

"No, no. Amanda's been telling me this whole time that she thinks it's a girl. Don't you think she knows better than we do?" Fin retorted.

"I wonder how she's doing," Olivia said.

For the next hour, the three bickered and bantered. Carisi went down to the cafeteria to get coffee and snacks.

"This is worse than the vending machine food in the precinct," he said, with his mouth nonetheless full.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You see those two kids over there?" She asked, motioning to two little girls sitting on the floor. About six and four, they were pulling each other's hair and buzzing away, talking about who knows what. "You see the way they're arguing? It's just like the two of you."

Fin snorted. They were quiet for a bit. The rhythm of the maternity ward around them filled the silence. Happy, loud conversations from overzealous families; children, eager to meet new siblings.

Outside the delivery room, a too-young looking doctor with red hair and freckles spoke to Nick, answering any questions that he might have and assuring him that Amanda and baby were both fine. The doctor then informed Nick that there was a small crowd of people waiting for them. Not wanting to leave his new child and girlfriend, but knowing he needed to tell his friends that they were fine, he walked into the waiting room.

"Liv, gentlemen," he said. "It's a girl."

Olivia was the first to react. "Congratulations, Nick," she said. "How are they?"

"Amanda's fine, baby's fine," he said, exhaling deeply. "Doc says only three people can be back there at a time, who wants to come with me first?"

Fin told Carisi and Liv that they could go and he would wait. Nick went in first to make sure that Amanda was ready to have visitors, and then motioned for the others to come in.

"Congrats," Carisi said.

"Amanda, she's beautiful," Liv said, leaning down to hug her blonde colleague. "Congratulations."

The baby truly was beautiful. Asleep on Amanda's chest, she had a full head of dark brown hair and a soft, round face.

"What'd you name her?"

"Rosie," Nick said as Amanda stroked their daughter's back.

"Do you want to hold her?" Amanda asked Olivia.

Olivia nodded, and Amanda gently transferred the tender bundle to her. As she did, Rosie began to stir slightly, sensing that it was no longer her mother who was holding her. Olivia rocked her back and forth to soothe her. After less than a minute, she began to cry, and Liv placed her back in her mother's arms.

She calmed immediately.


	3. Chapter 3

_The electricity was knocked out. A strong, spring storm had hurled through the city, bringing down the power lines. Nick's home was growing hot and humid. Candlelight projected dancing shadows along the walls. Nick had not been planning a romantic evening, but the candles called for it. He dusted off his mother's record player and the soft music flowed out like velvet._

 _Amanda was radiant. Her eyes sparkled like the champagne in her glass. The champagne that Nick had poured. The champagne that remained untouched. Nick eyed her carefully._

 _"You not drinking?" He asked, bringing his own flute to his lips. She smiled coyly._

 _"I don't think so. Not tonight. Not for quite a few more nights, I think," she said, placing her hand over his._

 _"What's that mean?" He said slowly. She smiled again and pulled Nick to his feet, directing his right hand to her stomach._

 _"I'm pregnant, Nick," she said. His jaw met the floor. Then his lips met hers. When he came up for air, he fixated his gaze on her still-flat belly. He spread his hands along her abdomen and then placed a gentle kiss upon it._

Harsh artificial light bounced off of every surface in the hospital room. Amanda, exhausted from giving birth less than twenty-four hours before, was passed out. In Nick's arms was their daughter. She was tightly bundled in a standard issue hospital blanket. The white noise of the hospital around him was the baby's first lullaby.

Rosie was awake but not crying, much to Nick's relief. Amanda needed sleep. Rosie's eyes were still blue. Nick knew that the genetics would make it next to impossible for her to keep the sky-colored eyes, but that didn't stop him from hoping. He wanted his daughter to look just like her mother.

"You're beautiful like Mommy," Nick whispered. "And you're going to be smart, and strong, and independent, and stubborn just like she is." As Nick spoke softly to his newest child, Amanda's eyes fluttered open. Nick, engrossed in talking to his baby, did not notice. Amanda decided to keep it that way, and pretended to sleep, listening to Nick's words to their child.

"Mama loves you. Daddy loves you. Abuelita and Nana love you. Uncle Fin, and Uncle Rafael, and Uncle Sonny, and Aunt Liv love you." Tears pricked Amanda's eyes. Her child was loved. Her child would have a family. She moved her hand to wipe her eyes, and Nick saw her movements.

"Babe, you're awake? Go back to sleep; she's fine," Nick said, unaware that she had heard everything.

"I love you, Nick," she said. Nick looked down at the baby in his arms, the baby that Amanda had given him.

"I love you too."

The next morning, while Amanda was feeding Rosie, a nurse entered and asked the couple if they were expecting a visit from an older blonde woman named Beth. Nick looked to Amanda and then said, "It's up to you."

Not entirely sure that she wanted to see her mother after the events of just weeks ago, but knowing she wanted her daughter to have a "proper" family, Amanda told the nurse to send her in.

Beth Anne Rollins walked into the hospital room like a child expecting reprimand. After greeting Nick, she turned her gaze to her daughter and granddaughter. "Mandy, I'm sorry," she whispered. She reached out and stroked Rosie's back.

"My god, I have a beautiful grandbaby," she said. Amanda's mother told Nick that he could go home that night; that she would stay with Amanda and Rosie. Nick was reluctant to leave, but Amanda told him that it was okay.

In the hospital parking garage, Nick pulled his wallet out to retrieve his parking card. He paused to stare at Amanda's ultrasound in the clear pocket of his wallet. This was his third child, but he was still astounded at how Amanda had been carrying Rosie fewer than two days ago. Behind the ultrasound were pictures of Gil and Zara. He would have to print one of Rosie to go with them. He slid his parking card into the meter and drove off.

He thought about the many pictures of Rosie he could add to his wallet. Her image was already his lock screen. He had taken a picture of Rosie lying on Amanda's chest shortly after she was born. Pulling his phone out to look at the picture of mother and child, he smiled.

Preoccupied with the glowing picture from the small screen, he did not see the truck in front of him.

The screen was not the only thing glowing. Lights. Lights everywhere. Red and yellow and white. A loud crack in the windshield. His body was thrust to the side. Everything was moving so slowly. His mind, even then, moved to Rosie and Amanda, probably peacefully asleep in the hospital.


End file.
